I’m tall, so when I was a kid I played basketball. Sometimes I’m arrogant, so as a kid I had no doubt that I was the best on my team. And, when I played I was convinced that the other team feared me. But, there was one thing I just couldn’t seem to figure out…if I was so good, why wouldn’t anyone pass me the ball?

Now, looking back I have figured it out, I sucked. I had fooled myself. I was absolutely terrible.

I am becoming more and more aware of how easy it is for me to fool myself. I can make myself believe all kinds of ridiculous things. Know what I mean? As a kid I fooled myself into thinking I was good at sports. But now, as an adult, I fool myself about other things. Sometimes I try to make myself think that I’m being more productive than I really am. Sometimes I make myself think that I’m not tired so that I have an excuse to stay up playing xBox. I could go on, but instead I’ll get to the point…

One of the bigger areas where I tend to fool myself is in thinking about my spiritual life. When I was younger I would fool myself and think “I went to church this week, so I’m growing spiritually.” Or maybe, “I had a quiet time two days ago, so I’m still good.” Or even, “I’m ready to teach the Bible study, so I’m doing just fine.”

WRONG! Those are lies! I’m only doing fine spiritually until I am seeking after God with all of my heart, soul, and mind (or at least making a good effort).

So, I propose that we all need a spiritual barometer, so that we can measure how we are doing spiritually, and so that other people can easily see how we are doing. Otherwise we will just keep fooling ourselves, and fooling everyone around us.

For me (this is getting personal) the barometer is blogging. If I am writing about deep things, that means I am reading deep things and thinking about deep things. When this blog is silent, or just full of video clips, 90% of the time that means I’m being a slacker spiritually.

I’m telling you this because it holds me accountable. I’m also telling you this to encourage you to do the same: find your spiritual barometer and tell people about it. I dare you…

I have been reading through the end of Exodus and realized something obvious but interesting. The Israelites were busy trying to find their way out of the desert and God commands them to stop and build the Tabernacle (a super ornate tent, sweet crib) and make the priests garments for the Aaron and his sons which are probably the most elaborate and expensive outfits I have ever heard of (Vera Wang look out).

I was thinking about why God would command them to create such ornate expensive things in the midst of living this nomadic lifestyle (since most people don’t take their tux on a camping trip). And, I think it’s simply because He is worth it. The Tabernacle was His place for the ark (His presence) and the priests’ clothes were for the purpose of meeting with God. And He is worth making much of, even out in the desert in the middle of nowhere.

This helps me to see my own foolishness. So often I find myself trying to cram God into the small nooks and crannies of free time in my day. Instead I should be making much of Him, even when that means that I’m inconvenienced, and even when that means that I have to make sacrifices.

If the Israelites can pimp out a tent and some priests in the middle of the desert, I ought to be able to find time to read my Bible, speak with God and serve Him a little each day.

After yesterday’s post about the need to sit at Jesus’ feet a reader posed this question: “How do we sit at his feet and choose the good portion yet, serve?”

This is an area that I have struggled in lately. I have been very busy serving and have often neglected the opportunity to sit. There are two problems with this, the first is that I’m missing the “good portion” (Luke 10:38-42), and the second is that I find myself worn out.

I am slowly coming to the conviction that I must “sit to serve”, where I sit at His feet as He pours into me, and I serve out of the overflow of His outpouring.

Lately I have been identifying with Moses in Exodus 18:18-23:

You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God, and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do. Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.”

And so I find, the answer is in discipleship. Moses couldn’t do it alone. I can’t do it alone, I can’t even come close. But, if I can “sit to serve” and disciple people who will “sit to serve” we will accomplish great works of service for our Jesus, while sitting humbly at His feet.

This morning I was reading Matthew 13 and was struck by verses 16-17:

But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
Matthew 13:16-17 (ESV)

I read this passage and one thought hit me, all of the prophets and righteous people of the Old Testament longed to know what we know about Jesus and likely would have given their life to learn the  teachings that I take for granted.

I love my Bible, but in truth, reading it sometimes becomes a chore and a duty rather than a thrill and a passion.

Too often I read the words but am left unchanged as though God weren’t present within His living word. Too often I have allowed someone else to teach me as an inactive participant rather than opening my mind and heart to His life changing message as an engaged worshiper. Too often I have read His word without remembering or embracing the power and authority that it holds. And, too often I have allowed the business of this life to fool me into thinking that I don’t have time to read the very words that bring life.

I can’t / won’t do that anymore. I find myself longing to see and hear. Yearning to know and understand just a little more of God than I did before. My line is drawn, I am moving forward.

Blessings and curses are often confusing. Sometimes what seems to be a curse (like getting paid less than expected at a new job) turns out to be a blessing (like getting a free place to live, see this post). And, sometimes what appears to be a blessing can turn into a curse, like being rich and famous just to throw you life away on drugs and worthless possessions.

As I was reading in Genesis 42 the other day it really struck me when Joseph’s brothers had been blessed but mistook God’s blessing for a curse. They had come to the land of Egypt to buy grain, and Joseph had given them the grain and also put their money back into the sacks. So as they traveled back to the land of Canaan they suddenly realized that they not only got grain to feed their starving families, but that the grain was free. Their response? They were miserable. And, the next time they went to buy grain they took the money with them to give it back.

So, later when they came back to buy more grain they humbly approached Joseph’s servant, thinking that this curse was going to bring trouble to them:

So they went up to the steward of Joseph’s house and spoke with him at the door of the house, and said, “Oh, my lord, we came down the first time to buy food. And when we came to the lodging place we opened our sacks, and there was each man’s money in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight. So we have brought it again with us, and we have brought other money down with us to buy food. We do not know who put our money in our sacks.” He replied, “Peace to you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has put treasure in your sacks for you. I received your money.”
-Genesis 43:19-23 (ESV)

I really love how nonchalant the steward’s response is, “I received your money” as if to say, I got the cash, God did something great, what of it?

Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s just early in the morning, but as I meditate on this passage and think about my life I am reminded of the need to be discerning in realizing that often situations that look bad are meant for my good and meant to become a blessing. And, at the same time, not everything that looks good is, like Eve looking at the fruit and seeing that it was good just to eat it and fall (Genesis 3:6).

Let me encourage you, if there is something difficult in your life right now, don’t reject it too quickly as a curse, it just might be God’s blessing in disguise. After all, God has been known to do some amazing things out of tough situations. I pray that all of us will recognize God’s blessing when it comes our way and embrace it rather than running from it.

This morning I was on my way into work and I saw a lady standing on the side of the road talking on her cell phone and looking over her SUV with some concern. My first reaction was sinful; just keep driving, it’s not my problem. I even had some great reasons to back up this reaction:

• She’s probably on the cell phone with someone that is coming to help her anyway.
• I need to get to work (at the Church!) I have a lot going on today.
• I don’t know anything about mechanics so I can’t really be of any help anyway.
• Someone else will stop and help.
• It’s probably nothing so why should I bother wasting my time.

The problem is, all those reasons are pathetic. The fact is, when I see someone in obvious need on the side of the road, my first reaction shouldn’t be to make lame excuses, my first reaction must be one of love and service. I should jump at the chance to help someone in need, not avoid it like it is an inconvenience.  I am convicted and convinced that I must retool my thinking and become more servant minded.

And, just to finish the story, the Holy Spirit did get a hold of me and I turned around to see if she needed help. By the time I got back there she was gone, but I am glad that I went back, just in case.

We must ignore the urge to drive by people that need our help.

On Saturday I went to the funeral of a acquaintance tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. It was…interesting, but I learned something.

Robert was a Ninja, as in the real deal. His obituary said this:

Robert Veal was a real-life ninja, a yondan, a fourth-degree black belt in the Japanese martial art of Bujinkan ninjutsu.

He was so accomplished that he had been teaching self-defense to airline flight crews since he was 17.

Mr. Veal, who had been home-schooled, was disciplined, focused and thrived on learning, his sister said. Just as he studied Bujinkan ninjutsu with a grand master in Japan, he traveled to Brazil to practice capoeria, the Brazilian martial art that is part dance and part game.

Being a Ninja meant that he was a warrior and held the values of a warrior, like the Bushido code or the code of Chivalry. Robert also loved Jesus and followed the Bible, making him a paradox; a warrior and a saint. As a warrior he was a defender of the weak, a force against those who prey on them, and as a saint he was a lover of the weak, often the first to offer assistance and service.

This has gotten me thinking, should all Christians be warriors? Shouldn’t we actively seek to defend the weak? Shouldn’t we seek out those with ill intent, expose them and engage them in battle? Shouldn’t we be trained and prepared to defend ourselves philosophically, theologically, methodologically, Biblically, and even perhaps physically (in certain contexts)?

Which also brings to mind another question: Why are Christians typically passive while the nature of God is to actively engage the enemy?

I’m still struggling through some of these thoughts, so please leave comments with your thoughts and maybe we can think through this one together. Any help here is appreciated.