Last night I spent some time talking with a new friend about the different levels of relationships within communities and about how the deeper we go in relationship with one another, typically, the more we find the need to ask for forgiveness from one another.

I’m sure that statement seems off at first, but if you think about it, who do you typically offend the most, the people that you are closest to, right? You will have to ask for forgiveness from your best friend or spouse far more often than you will ask from it from your employer or another acquaintance. This is because with those we are closest to we are more willing to be ourselves, which also means that we stop trying to look good all the time and we let the ugly things in our lives loose.

I think this is a good thing. One of the things that has always bothered me about the many forms of church with which I have been involved is that the relationships within those bodies rarely go deep. I can think of only a handful of times that I have been in deep enough relationship within the church body to actually offend someone and need their forgiveness.

Of course, this is because we typically weren’t sharing life in those churches, we were sharing experience. We shared the experience of Bible study, of worship, of prayer, of evangelism, of missions and during that time some life would get shared, but never fully. There was always a wall of exposure that would not be crossed, a bearing of the soul that might begin, but never reach it’s potential to bring us into real, messy community. Sharing experiences simply is not the same as sharing life.

Now I find myself in an all together different situation, involved in a house church with a group of Godly men that know me well enough to read my mail pretty much any time they look at me. They know if I am pursuing God, if I am honoring my family, if I am serving my wife, or if I am just being selfish.

Ultimately within the body we have to become close enough to one another so that we can offend one another and forgive one another. When this happens our level of community takes another step toward being a complete and unified body of believers.

If we aren’t arguing occasionally, then we are probably missing something….