This morning I was reading Numbers 14, which might be one of the most tragic and heartbreaking chapters in all of Scripture. The Israelites are poised to take the great land that God has promised to give them. They are wise, so they send spies into the land to find the strongholds, but when the scouts came back and all but two give a bad report the Israelites immediately doubt God and even wish that they could go back to slavery in Egypt.

They were on the edge of stepping into the greatest promise and blessing of their generation, but they shrunk back because of the rebellion of their hearts and their fear of men.

I’m sorry to say that I know how they feel. That’s very much where I find myself today, tempted to be selfish and to fear. We are planting a church. It is something that God has called us to do, something we are excited about, and something that is simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.

Throughout the last few months I have had several gut checks, times when my heart wanted to rebel against God and selfishly choose another path. There has also been fear. Fear that I won’t be able to provide for my family, fear that we will fail, fear that I am not strong enough, and most of all a fear that we will put our hearts and family on the line just to be crushed. Like I said, terrifying.

But, then I look at Israel, their selfishness, their lack of confidence in the promise of God, and their fear of men (because of their lack of confidence in God). Do you know what happened to them in Numbers 14? After they rebelled and turned from God, God told Moses what their punishment would be. Then, like a toddler with chocolate all over his mouth trying to convince mommy that he didn’t eat the cookie, they tried to reclaim God’s promise to give them the land.

Too little, too late.

They muster up the army and actually think that after their rebellion they can just walk into the promise land and take it over. Moses’ response to this gives me chills. Moses says, “Do not go up, for the Lord is not among you, lest you be struck down before your enemies.” God had removed His blessing, and taken away their ability to take the land.

Fortunately, you and I can learn from this tragic error. God has called me to plant this church. Its an unusual church, even for a church plant. But, God’s vision for the church is very clear, and His call to move into the land is very clear, and we are committed to walk in it, in spite of all the hardship and heartache.

We will not be selfish, and we will not fear anyone or anything but God. Over and over again I am seeing that when God calls you, He also provides for you. He has and will continue to provide for us.

So, let me encourage you. If God is calling you to do something great and bold for Him, don’t shrink back. Don’t be selfish or fear. Boldly step forward, follow His leading, and trust that He will take care of every need. Because He will.