The Funeral Fight (yes, it really happened)
Yesterday I went to a funeral and a fight…at the same time. It was crazy, I was standing there next to my friend Matt (the pastor doing the ceremony) and something fell over. We assumed that it was a lamp or TV because there were far too many people packed into the room. But, we soon realized it had been a person that hit the floor, and that person got up angry. Then the room exploded with shouting as the thin wall of tension gave way to full blown anger and all of their family issues surfaced.
Its interesting, this woman lay there so that friends and family could pay their last respects, but instead of a moment of love and reflection it became a moment of anger. Why? What could cause a response so contrary to what was appropriate in that moment? Lots of words spring to mind; selfishness, resentment, anger, frustration, justice, but the word that sticks in my mind is broken.
This was a family with broken relationships.
And now, more than ever, I find myself convinced and convicted of how fragile relationships really are. I’m sure this family didn’t start with such poor relationships, they probably just deteriorated over time and there was little attempt at restoration. Relationships are alive, and when they are abused, neglected, or just taken for granted, they suffer just like anything else.
And so, I find myself more committed to intentionally building my relationships rather than neglecting them. I will:
- make more phone calls and try to really listen to and empathize with the person on the other end.
- be more intentional about planning to have face time with the people I care about.
- pray for my friends and family more and for myself less.
- seek unusual ways to notice the needs of others and attempt to encourage and help them.
- take every relationship seriously and treat it like the precious thing it is.
- I will remember that in all relationships my needs come third (after Jesus and the other person)
I’m sure there are several things I have missed in this list, is there anything you want to add?
January 29th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
did you get any youtube footage? that would be awesome! not to make light of a crazy situation of course.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I was wishing that my phone took video at the time…but sadly, no.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:37 am
The fight itself is incredible and as time progresses, more fights may become common place or slightly expected regardless of the faith of the family.
Pop culture feeds upon itself and more people may become prone to fighting simply after hearing that it occurred somewhere else:(
Great proposals as a solution that you offered though!
Peace,
Roney