I have been thinking a lot about how communication is messy. There is:

• What is actually said.
• What is heard.
• and What is meant.

And rarely do these three play well together.

I see this all the time with clients and friends, especially via email. They will often say (or write) something that sounds condescending, then I talk to them later and realize what they really meant. Or they will ask for something in an email, assuming I know where they are coming from when I often do not. So, in the midst of learning to better communicate with my clients, friends, and family, I have a few suggestions to improve this art.

1. When speaking don’t assume something about the person you are speaking to, if your assumption happens to be wrong, or even slightly off it will throw off everything you are trying to say and cause confusion.
2. When you are listening to someone, actually listen, don’t start formulating your response, half listening is the same as not listening at all. This is a good one to remember when talking to your spouse.
3. When listening, once the person complets their entire thought say, “This is what I’m hearing” and summerize what they said. Then ask if you are correct in what you heard. The conversation takes a little longer, but there will be no miscommunication happening. This is a good one when talking to the opposite sex, since men and women think so differently.
4. Assume the best in people. When talking to someone or reading a client email, don’t assume they are being condescending just because you read it that way. It is pretty likely that is your issue surfacing, not theirs.
5. Talk face to face when possible. Being able to see a person when speaking to them provides a lot of clarity about the heart behind what they are saying. If you can’t talk face to face, talk on the phone because voice inflection also helps bring clarity.

I confess, I know how to communicate well, but as my wife will tell you, I often don’t use that knowledge. But I’m working on it, and I hope you are too.

For those of you still subscribed to my RSS feed, nice to see you again, enjoy the ride…

So I have been thinking more and more about the community of believers, the church. It is more than an organization, more than a group, more than a community, it is the Bride of Christ (and the body of Christ) that is only fully lived out in community.

So many people get caught up looking for God’s direction for them, I see it all the time, “what does God want for me?” They pray, they read the Bible, but they never talk to the rest of the Body of Christ about it.

The scripture is clear, we know it part and we prophecy in part (1 Cor 13:9). By myself I see a piece of what God has for me. I may see a big piece, but any way you slice it, I’m convinced it is only a piece. I believe that the brothers and sisters that make up the body of Christ hold the other pieces, and it is only through them that I can dream of coming into the fullness of who God wants me to be.

This is an unpopular idea in modern American Christianity because Americans are notoriously, unashamedly, and sinfully (confession on my part) independent.

The fact is, if we are seeking after the fullness of God, we must not only find him on our own during a “quite time”, we must also find him in the creation that bears His image and is being conformed into His likeness, namely the Church.

I need my church so that I can come into the fullness of who I am in Christ, I love that, I’m proud of that, I’m humbled by that.

This morning I was reading about how King Solomon built the house of the Lord in Jerusalem and I found myself really missing that city. The history alone makes it noteworthy, but I miss it in a way that is deeper than that. It is the city of my spiritual heritage, the city that my Savior looked forward to traveling to to celebrate the feasts that foreshadowed His coming and His sacrifice .

When I think of Jerusalem I can’t help but think of Jesus walking the ancient streets and going up the southern stairs to the temple mount to pray. It is a city that I am connected to, a city that every Christian is connected to, a city of new peace. This morning I miss that city. This morning I am praying for the peace of Jerusalem.

I have been visited my other mother at the Hospice today. Staring death in the face has gotten me thinking about how easy it is to lose priorities and the constant need to fight to keep the right priorities.

It seems odd to me that we often lose site of what is most important considering how short life really is. I know I will be doing so priortizing after this weekend, can’t wait to spend some time with my family!

Hello readers, I haven’t blogged in months, not totally sure why. But, I did want to send out a quick update that I am still alive. That this week we our third child was born, and that one of these days I will dive back into the blogsphere. Thanks for hanging in there, let’s have some conversation soon.

Its funny. Christians that really don’t understand Old Testament Judaism always slam on the law. But, the core of the Jewish faith is the Shema in Deuteronomy 6:4, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” The Jews very foundation was love for God.

So, when Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment he quoted that. I’m pretty sure the Jews did a much better job of loving God (during the good times that is), within the law, than we can guess. Probably better than many Christians today in my estimation.

The Old Testament Law served  a purpose and should never be undervalued, as is often the case. A study of the Law will not place a believer in bondage, but increase our devotion as we recognize that Christ is the ultimate fulfillment of a very complex law. He is the perfection of it. The Law in the past was to point out sin and to bring a deeper devotion to God. The Law today should still do that for us, though we are not bound to it in the same way.